Gossip, America's Pastime...take 3

Well, it seems my lazy sack of poop peers have taken a break from this weeks news, I feel it is my obligation to fill you in on who is hanging out in the cynics salon. I will give you my top 5 observations of each:

Ryan "The Man Behind the Curtain" Lockhart-
5. He can not comprehend the rules of Taboo and how to apply them accordingly, therefore, we refuse to play with him.
4. As if that were not enough....he cheats at Drinking Games! I think it is a power thing...while a republican is office he must make up for this "deficiency"(wink wink) by being the democrat president of Presidents and Assholes.
3. He on multiple occasions has been photographed and video'd singing old 80's ballads.
2. I have reason to believe that he has multiple personality disorder.
1. He decorates his house, bedroom(I know), and our quaint working(slaving) quarters to look like Studio 54 during the Holiday season. It is awful!

Johnny:
5. He can out drink me. It pisses me off. I mean I worked hard to be able to hold my own. What else would I get from my years at LSU?!
4. He was the worst server ever. He often tried to get me in cahoots with him to burn the restaurant down and dance around the fire wearing our aprons on our head as Indian headdresses(Ryan's words not mine).
3. He never shares his beer at parties. He always drinks his super quick as if to make sure that it is untouched, and then comes and grabs beer out of the mini fridge(my fridge). Greedy Bastardo.
2. For a DJ on the side, he plays the most awful music and actually thinks he sounds good when he dances and sings to it on the couch!
1. I have reason to suspect that he may not vote! I have reason to suspect that he is not even registered to vote.

Socks:
1. I will only say this. Ask him how he got the name socks.

I hope you have found this info interesting. I promise one day to have information that you will find relevant to current events of this country and even world, but for today I decided to Gossip. I mean if Perez Hilton and E! can be such lucrative professions then gossip surely is a cornerstone of our American economy and society right?Signing out...Mel